Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Overheard.... OR.... The Chronicles #2, of She who must not be named

I know I got to write about the Rajasthan tour, but not now. First read this.

This is what I heard a man yelling into his cell to his wife/girlfriend. Me and she who must not be named, and her friend had gone for a short walk, and then later upto the baniya to buy gud. A man in a yellow t-shirt, which 'she who must not be named' and friend say is red, passed us. And this is what he told the mysterious creature.

"Don't worry if you're feeling cold. I'm there for you. I will make you warm."
But the question is how??

The rest of it, we were unable to hear. But I'm quite sure it would have been quite interesting.

Also I wonder when 'she who must not be named' will stop embarrassing me. As it is, 'she who must not be named', can burst into peels of laughter in no time. And here, as soon as she heard this she burst out laughing in the middle of the road - right there! I just hope Mr. Yellow Shirt (or red as 'she who must not be named' and her friend claim) was busy on the phone and did not notice it. But it doesn't end here. The rest of the walk, 'she who must not be named' and her friend were cracking silly jokes about the man's disappearance.

Joke 1:
SWMNBN: Where's the man? Why did he disappear?
Her Friend: He must have gone to make her warm

And the rest of them i.e joke 2,3,4,5..... are all variants of the same!

But how can it end here????

Joke lost-count: (The next day, i.e. yesterday)
SWMNBN: Yaar, woh red kahin dikhai nahi de raha hai (That guy in the red is no where to be seen)
Friend: Wahin hoga, making her warm

Whats up today.... I'll find out and let you know ;-)

Friday, November 19, 2004

Kronicles - 1

Hey people,
This is a new section in here, the Kronicles i.e the Kathak Chronicles!

The other day, K was walking to her car in some parking. When she was almost there, she heard a guy talking on his cell. Actually, he had just made the call, or so it seems... And Kathak, she decided to proxy for the person on the other side.

Guy: Hello
Kathak: Hey there honey!
Guy: May I speak to ABCXYZ?
Kathak: Of course you can't honey. She's doing the Adivasi dance!

What followed next was a long pause, the kinds that would put Mr. A B Vajpayee to shame. The guy dropped his cell and started laughing! And K, she quickly got into the car, locked herself in and was laughing like a maniac to infinity!

But that's not the end... Only the beginning! At exactly twelve thirty in the night, K gets up and starts laughing. I get up and ask her, and only after a gruelling interrogation of ten minutes she tells me the reason for bringing the roof down at twelve thirty in the night! And then, every half an hour she's getting up to laugh and do funny things which I still haven't figured the significance of. Adivasi rituals?????

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Dhannaram Bheel

This man, I was told by my guide (the great lier cock) has the longest beard in the world (4.5ft) and his dad's was 9.5 ft. Like I believe him. Nontheless, here's a picture of Dhannaram Bheel holding out his four point five feet long beard. But you can always check out the official guinness record, which I think is currently held by Shamsher Singh of Punjab and is six feet long. But I'll tell you what, this guide man was such a liercock. He claimed to be a multilinguist knowing nine languages (English, Hindi, Spanish, French, German, Gujrati, etc.). But couldn't even speak a complete sentence of English. Nothing wrong with that, but he shouldn't say he knew it when infact he didn't. He started off with a few English words and later switched to Hindi. Such a show off na. Bigger than K also. I'm sure he was just bluffing.

Notice the Katputlis in the background. Almost all of us wanted to buy one. He said that they were the traditional Rajasthani ones, and when we asked him whether we would get them in Jaipur, (that was our next stop, and the last one before Sawai Madhopur) he said we wouldn't get them the way they're supposed to be. But thanks to my sensibility I bought only one pair and the other from Jaipur at a good price, though I could have got them cheaper. But I still am better at bargaining than any of my friends. And I found myself doing what I call baniyagiri. If you don't understand the meaning of that, mail me!!

Monday, November 15, 2004


I have a question.
Did Frito-Lay India name "Kurkure" after consulting Kekta Kapoor's astrologer?

This is by far, (according to the 21 year old K and her friends who gave it) the best gift she received! And her b'day surprise, because the other gift (Digital Fortress by Dan Brown) she had asked for.

Anyone wanting a higher resolution picture (640*480, 800*600, 1600*1200, your default resolution no higher than 2272*1704) mail me at the address on my profile. That way atleast, I'll get some mails in my mailbox!! And, anyone wondering what this is all about and stuff, you could check out the blogs of Kathak and Dan, and you may be able to figure out their love for kurkure. All I know is that it started off during some RMT (I don't know what that is) lecture where these idiots were eating kurkure. And then Dan interviewed Kathak (using the voice recorder of her 5140)... I even heard the recording!

Dan (D): Hi Kathak, tell me something about your fav food.
Kathak (K): What food do you want to know about?

D: Okay, tell me about kurkure.
K: Kurkure?
D: Ya, kurkure
K: You see, kurkure is the food which we eat during this (RMT) lecture .
D: Okay, and why do you like it so much?
K: Thats because, we get to eat it during the lecture!
D: Okay. And how often do you have this lecture?
K: Every Tuesday, 1:30 to 3:30
D: So, you eat kurkure only once a week?
K: Well, we try to eat kurkure only once a week. (??????????)
D: Okay. And... ummm... whom do you eat it with?
K: I've got this big friends. (Maybe she means big group of friends). Dan, and then then then is.. wait a minute, you're interviewing me, why do you want to know I eat kurkure with you?
D: Okay.... hahahahahahaha.... what else, what else do you eat????
K: What do you want to know about? (Why does she always need specific questions?)
D: OKay. Tell me about chocolates?
K: Chocolates.... okay.... I like Mon Cherry. Mon Cherry is chocolate with a cherry and vine. And the vine and the cherry and the chocolate together taste just awesome.

(Snipped off some part of the interview)

D: And now tell me about the subject you like the most.
K: I like RMT the most.
K: You want to know why I like RMT the most??
K: I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. (Chillax K, she's interviewing you to hear you out)
D: I know why you like RMT the most.
K: I'll tell you, i'll tell you...........
D: Okay... go ahead.
K: It's because we get to eat kurkure!! (Phew!)
D: And tell me something about your RMT prof.
K: Our RMT prof, can't see anything, and he can't hear anything.... so we get to eat kurkure!!!!

(Never mind the remaining interview, I'm sure you know how it would have progressed, only to end with a "Now its the time to eat Kurkure.... !")

So, people.... what's your verdict???

I think

1. 'Frito-Lay India' should pay these idiots for the free advertising they're getting.
2. K and Dan need to get a life, because somewhere K spoke of Kurkure+Ice-cream+Chocolates together.
3: Dan should never conduct an interview. K should never give interviews.
4. Whats with the invasion of K?

Friday, November 12, 2004

Happy Diwali

Hello People,

Nice to be back, and back on an auspicious day! Did you guys miss me? Thanks Sweethearts, Muuuuaaaahhhhhhh! Wish you all a great Diwali full of lights and sweets and all the festivity. But but but, but but don't burst fire-crackers, instead, have a Diwali cracking with laughter and fun!


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Random Badd Badd....

During these never ending two weeks so many many things happened... like I got quite a few heart attacks. I'm going on a school tour to Rajasthan. A lot of the heart attacks were concerning this trip.

1. Kathak was surprised/bewildered that I may not have access to the internet for a little over a week. (That's just soooo suprising. Truly, it is!!)

2. During the train journey, we travel in groups. So our dearest teacher Laddoo played the devil, and as she decided the groups, me and my best friend were in separate groups. But we were all travelling in the same boggie so it' okay. But again Chivda (a.k.a Laddoo) found a new way to separate us.... she put us in separate boggies. And Mags and I were supposed to take care of each other. But there were so many others going on the trip, so its okay! But then again, me and Mags have been friends since we were born... so......... ! I'll miss you Mags, take care, its just a question of 24 hours!

3. K didn't study for her pracs and vivas well in advance as always, so she kept up during the nights. And so yesterday night slept for over 14 hours together. And now she just can't get back to sleep so she's making wild plans of going out in the night at 3 for a nice long drive. God help her.

4. The day my exam ended I actually wanted to go home and study. But Mags came to save the day!

But then again, there were nice things happening as well.
1. Me and Mags went together for shopping and had sooooo much fun.

2. I had my maiden chat. I'm not sorry K, I realised chatting can be fun and thanks Bhaiyya.

3. My Mummy is finally knitting me a sweater after so much of flattering+requests.

Then there were funny things happening as well.
1. I saw an episode of Indian Idol. It was so funny... the way it all went.

2. When me and Mags went shopping everything seemed to be funny. The way her bro was behaving, the way our Mother's didn't like anything we bought and the way people were behaving.

And now for some Random Stuff
1. I don't want to really classify it as a good or bad thougt. I got K a birthday present the day I went with Mags and irritating cum irritated Mummies + Mags irritating brother.

2. Me and my friends were making a project on endangered species for EVS. (We must have practical sessions as far as EVS is concerned. It's as boring as it can get. Are you listening Pari? What about your petition plans?) We've finished only half of it. For a part of it, we mounted animal models on a board. So then K is telling me with a very absurd voice about the animals we haven't yet mounted on the board. And about how incomplete the project is. She actually goes all sing song about the animals... Sheesh didi, grow up! ;-)

Special Report 24X7:
The greatest person to ever walk the earth leaves for Rajasthan tomorrow evening. You can catch her at Pune Railway Station, but please do not carry autograph books, she'll be a little too busy, but can reply to your 'hi's' and 'what a pleasure to meet you ma'am'. Again, you can catch on the Rjasthan files after she returns on the eleventh.

Behind the scenes 24X7:
I shall keep all of you well informed about K.
These days, instead of concentrating on her BE project, K is concentrating more on the art of imitating those high power motor bikes, and how it starts, increases its speed rapidly, uses the boosters, and finally comes to a screaching halt.

I conclude with a prayer:
God, God, God...
I searched here, I searched there,
I searched everywhere.
But I never found it.
I want to do something,
So that the world remembers me,
I want to do something for humanity,
So that I can die a peaceful death.
Everyone says you are in people,
So in searched in myself for you.
When I have found you,
I request you to give me some brains,
So that I can give it to Kathak.
Give me the sensibility that can be given to Kathak, which she really needs.
And give me the strenght to endure her craziness.

B-bye all you nice people. (Nice because you read my blog). I'll miss ya a lot,