Precious Pearl

How to reduce fiscal deficit when there is none - the Kronicles 6

Everyday someone is hammering and hammering over our heads - the house on the floor above is undergoing renovation. One fine day, and another not so fine day they decide to hammer on our front door! And since Mummy couldn't find the contractor, she decided it was safer to start locking the house with and additional lock.

Now the BIG mistake she made here was that she asked our very own K darling to buy it. Now, K is a very smart babe!

And for a few details before you come to know how we got the strongest lock to be found in the world. One which could never ever be broken in the history or future of human kind.

It was one fine afternoon, K and Agent R were indulging in the customary chai and gossip session while taking a break from their project, and mom asked them to go over and get the lock. K managed to locate a hardware store (WOW K... What an achievement you didn't land at the grocers). K thought it wasn't safe to leave the car alone, so she left Agent R to protect it from all destructive forces. A few minutes later, K ccomes back with a smile on her face like she just won the next world war single handedly! Everyone comes home, safe and sound (Okay... I have to give it to K here, she's one of the safest drivers on road) but then again, its fun saying "and they came home safe and sound"!

Darlings, now we look at the lock. The lock... for the main door. The MAIN DOOR. Like the door that guards the entire house. Yes, that door!!



And this was the war that K won, A translated version (the original was hindi)

K:Bhaiyya, do have locks to lock the main doors of the house?
Shopkeeper (S):Yes we do. (And takes out a nice big lock) Will this do?
K: Err... (giving him a frightened look, tentatively looking at the lock, staring at it from all angles, all possible ways, opening it, locking it, playing with it, giving it a hundred looks and then a tentative smile). What does it cost?

Now with the amount of time she spent admiring the lock, you'd think she'll pick it up.
S: Three fifty rupees.
K: (Gets a heart attack) WHHHHAAAATTTTTTTTTT?????? THREE FIFTY RUPEES????????????? Don't you have anything cheaper?
S: Yes, we do. Its a godrej lock blah blah....
This time K comes straight to the point.
K: What does it cost?
S: 250 ruppes.
K: Something cheaper?
S: Then there's one for 145?
K: Err... 145? Nothing cheaper?
By now the shopkeeper was wondering if the psyco came to pick a lock for the main door or for show? K was anyway convinced the lock was just for show and she didn't want to spend more than 20 rupees for a lock that would be for show. But then the point is, she asked the shopkeeper for a lock for the *main door*.
S: Ma'am, this one is for 85 rupees
K: (staring at him blankly)
S: Ma'am 35 rupees?
K: Nah... that is too small, show me something bigger.
S: Ma'am, this one os for 50 rupees.

Now K is suddenly very happy. 50 rupees for a lock, not a bad bargain, but I don't know if thats how you drive a bargain. So, a very happy K gets in the car and tells Agent R how "the $%#^all shopkeeper had lost his #$&*ing brains and blah blah with a lot of swearing and laughing.

And then all of us saw the lock, and believe me we couldn't stop laughing for the next hour. The lock was barely a main door lock and it could be broken with a simple hammer! Of course, K justifies saying that its meant for show, so that those people can see that we have a lock, and get scared in trying to break in. Yeah Sure, K!!

Next time people, you need assistance in buying locks, you know the person, just not to ask! Also, the next time you need a nice word for your post, kindly follow that advice again. I asked K for a nice word for my next post, and she came up with "fiscal deficit". Well.. but on looking up the meaning of the word I thought it made for the perfect title.

posted by Pearl @ 5:17 PM