Saturday, April 07, 2007

Back with a bang... and the much awaited Kronicles!

Now that I have recovered from the shock of all the horrible malpractices I witnessed during the SSC exams and the shock of spending two week ends with my sister, I am prepared to write a post.

Keeping with the tradition of this blog, we obviously, post the Kronicles!!!!!

Shona babes, popularly knows as the Great Kathak, apparently has started to get very seriously involved in her work. She seems to enjoy working from 8 in the morning to all horrid times of the night. A couple of times right upto morning; which is totally destroying her. Dedication to work is nice. I appreciate it. It's a good charater trait and all things nice. However, she has turned into a psychopath working this way... not that she wasn't mad before!

1. She never takes my calls or reads or listens to my messages. In fact she comes home and reads or listens to them in front of me.
2. When I commented on her laziness last weekend and called her unproductive, she responded (half in her sleep) that she was very productive because she didn't have her cell phone with her. Thanks for teaching me what productivity was didi. Till today I always thought productivity was about creating something or maybe doing something usefull, something that has some value. But now I am wiser and know that productivity is about staying away from your cell phone. Therefore, I promise to throw away my phone. I too want to be productive so that I too can get into the IIT's or maybe NIT's or some nice college and become all the more productive.
3. Poor thing has this ancient window AC in her room and is jealous of my brand new, remote-controlled, split AC. She thinks I am the reason her AC over cools her room and she cannot sleep. She almost murdered me for that today morning when I took the risk of trying to wake her up without any protection.
4. She was always a "checklist" obsessed creature and had a checklist even if she had to go out for a picnic. She always claimed that she was operating at SEI CMMi level 3 - the stage where everything is "defined", "repeatable" or something to that effect. Now, after she has started working on the project she currently is working on, this disease has gotten worse. She claims she's SEI CMMi level 5 now - with her checklists and her art of writing checklists undergoing "continuous improvement". It doesn't help she's some sort of a "Quality" person in her team whose job is to make and update all sorts of inane checklists!. She even makes a checklist about clipping her finger nails and toe nails! She has absolutely no limits. I pity her manager! I am sorry to invade on your privacy Shona, but three senseless items on her check list are
  • Skipping
    • Saturday
    • Sunday
  • Sorting Clothes (This is about separating her "new" clothes from my "new" clothes - the ones we picked up today.)
  • Watching Fountainhead (Btw, I picked that up for her a week ago)
5. She is also so sleep deprived (because she comes home and then chats nineteen to a dozen on her cell phone till early morning, and then wakes up and rushes to office :( ) that she has been sleeping for 12 hours a day for the past two weekends. So she makes me stay at home all weekend waiting for her to get up in the afternoon and then we go out in the evening. The exception being today when she got up at 10 and finally took me shopping so that I now have clothes and accessories that make me look more civilised. Btw, we went shopping for me, and the total clothes count for her and me is the same - 7 T-shirts each, 2 salwar kameezes for her, 1 for me... 2 pairs of denims for me, 1 for her! This when she decided she wouldn't pick up a single pair of clothing!!!

I think five irritating things about Shona are enough for one set of the Kronicles! Just thinking about this monster of a sister, who lately has been playing taxi driver to her colleagues at various odd times of the night and weekends is enough to give me a head ache.

I promise I will post lovelier things next time. Not "Kronicles" about my weird sister who no longer cares about me. I think we should phase out this section! Now she's moved on from being my official typist to being my "reviewer". And she's threatening me to not review my posts if I do not type them in MS Word, so that she can review them and use the "track changes feature" to edit and mark review comments on my post! And then she wants to re-review my "review comments incorporated" post! Whoa!

However, I still love her in spite of her meaningless and senseless existence. Just like someone likes being with their pet. We're not attached you know, we just like being together. (I am sorry readers if you do not understand this statement. I am just trying to embarass my sister).
Not attached - Separate (like Shona's attol whatever test... whatever that is :P ... she actually had the nerve to talk about attol whatever test to some team member from Manipal over roaming!!!!) Eeks...!!!!!

Dear readers,

I promise to post more often now!

Love,
Anks!

P.S: I doubt my "reviewer" will ever recover from reading her own nonsense documented! - Oh... that's another thing she fancies - Word documentation. In college she even wrote reports about one day visits to places where she could have done without writing the report. Properly formatted and all.... talking about formatting, the idiot even formats her text messages on the mobile... and ... Well... some other day!

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8 Comments:

At 7:44 AM, April 08, 2007, Blogger Mathi said...

1) ROTFL..
2) LOLOL..
3) that was damn funny!
4) way to go Precious..
5) u made my day!
Shona babes, when did u become like this?

 
At 11:40 AM, April 08, 2007, Blogger Sudhakar said...

Skipping saturday and sunday..?
U mean from friday she goes to monday ? :P

 
At 9:33 PM, April 08, 2007, Blogger Pearl said...

You could say that Sudhakar Bhaiyya. She is so sleep deprived that she sleeps through most of Saturday and Sunday and goes from Friday to Monday ;)

 
At 8:20 PM, April 09, 2007, Blogger Ramses - The son of light said...

hehehe :P

quite tickling

 
At 9:37 AM, April 10, 2007, Anonymous Mohit said...

ROTFL!!!
U made my day!

 
At 7:39 AM, April 12, 2007, Blogger Kathak - The Story Teller! said...

It gives me immense pleasure that I could be of some use to all you people! Making your days and all!!!!! And adding the humour to your lives :)

 
At 9:59 AM, May 26, 2007, Blogger KRR said...

Boy O Boy....Thats one hell of a post written by you for SoNULL...
Total ROTFL....

And I wot talk much cos I happen to be her online "consultant" from the rival company..{ask her in her sleep wht it means ;)}
-KRR

 
At 9:46 PM, June 10, 2007, Blogger Pearl said...

KRR...I love you! SoNULL!!!!
So NULL.
She's so Null in life :P:P:P:P:P

 

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