Precious Pearl

Proof of the Pudding is in the Pudding itself

2008-12-26T13:42:00.002+05:30

That’s another gem from K. I could write a collection of her words of wisdom, but maybe we could use that post to redeem the self respect she’s going to lose once this post is made.

K is trying (desperately) to complete an MBA at AIM, Manila. She’s been there since August and now she has come to India for a short vacation. When she went to Manila, Bond took her to Thailand, and went to drop her off at Manila and get her settled down in Manila. So with Bond around, she didn’t have to worry about travel formalities. But this time, she was traveling alone. So Bond was afraid she might get lost and depressed in all the big airports of the world. So he sent her an e-mail explaining to her in detail how to go about immigration and customs. Also, he sent her a scanned copy of a blank arrival card, front as well as back. Then he also sent her a completed sample copy of the arrival card, the sample being her details. Also, he wrote out instructions at certain steps about where the card must be submitted and who will stamp what and where. He also asked her to thoroughly check out the sample form, print and keep a copy with her to use as a reference while filling the actual arrival form, which K did as soon as she received Bond’s e-mail. After sending the e-mail, Bond probably realized that K might print out copies of the arrival card herself and submit those, so he sent her another e-mail explaining to her that she will be given the arrival card on the flight, and in case she is not given one, then she need not worry, or be prepared with her own copies, she can collect one after landing, just before the immigration counter.

He also wrote, “After collecting your baggage from the belt, move towards the customs and look for the Green Channel. You may have to put your baggage through the X-Ray there and if you are lucky, the customs guy may tell you to move on without the X-Ray. In any case you do not need to worry whether the baggage goes through the X-Ray or you move out just like that. Then follow the exit sign and I will be there waiting for you.” Maybe, recession has hit Bond too, and therefore he has a lot of futile time to spend in writing out these instructions for K. I just hope it passes away soon.

And besides Bond, even a classmate of K has been striving to idiot proof her existence. On a casual chat, he started giving her pointers regarding immigration and customs in Manila and how to go about paying the tax at the airport and how much the cab ride to the airport should cost, and how much money she must carry, etc.

Btw, an Update: I now know the reason K why K wanted to give her laptop away to a courier delivery guy. It was just a cheap trick to get a new laptop. In any case, without giving the laptop away, she got a new laptop, and since then, the old laptop has been safe.

Also, we have a spare scanner. It’s as good as new. Ever since we bought it, it has been forgotten in our loft. So it’s an un-used scanner. It will be found to be extremely useful for people who need to prove their honesty by means of scanning certain documents and e-mailing them to prove their stories. The cost is negotiable. Also, since a cousin will be traveling to Delhi, Rampur, Delhi, some place, then the USA, anyone living in any of the afore mentioned places will get a special discount on delivery charges.

2007-12-12T16:13:00.000+05:30

Lovely, Helping People,

We (K and I) are in need of help. I need help, because our lovely K, light as a feather, K has jumped on and broken my right hand.

But K needs more help than I do. I don’t know the reason, but it looks like she is feelings really rich and charitable. Today, a courier delivery man came to deliver a courier and asked for a pen. So K felt such an intense connection with the man, that she severed all connections between us and snatched the laptop I was using, disconnected the mouse, picked it up, and took it out of the study room to the courier delivery man and started giving it to him.

Therefore, People, please be good to us and help us out.

Btw, I need someone knowledgeable to kindly explain to me how to make a pdf file of the music of Jab We Met. Or if you can't explain to me how to create it, then please explain to K that it cannot be created.

Thank You,
Pearl

P.S. Please do not ask K for any writing material till the matter is sorted, so that I may also be able to get an education. Although I now feel that the pursuit of education ruins you completely.

P.P.S. Another reason why she needs help is because she claims I can only blog in Italian over her dead body, although I am the one who has interacted with Italians longer than her. Actually, she has NEVER met any Italians in her life. And contrary to her claims, she has never even gone to this particular restaurant in Pune, where she claims to have met her Italian spouse. In case you don’t understand any of this, it is all her fault.

Back to business, Kronicles as usual!

2007-12-01T20:31:00.000+05:30

Dear Lovely People of the World,

It's been many years since I have written a post. Let me bring you up to date with all the trauma K has been causing everybody in her vicinity…(If you don't have a strong heart or have very strong mirror emotions, you'd rather not read this)

Firstly, I made the mistake of scoring only 90.15% in my tenth and she's still making me feel bad about it. After that, she and one of my new sisters keep making fun of my college. My college may try to make three people sit on a bench meant for one a half person, it may be located in a galli and may be called Modern, the professors there may love to tell the students about how the college, its professors and students are utterly middle class, when we sit in class, we may hear the whistles of pressure cookers and even sad filmy song, but my college is the nicest college on planet earth. It even gave me books at the beginning of the year so that I now have all my books in duplicate. Btw, if it interests anybody, I am studying a vocational subject (in place of HIndi and Marathi and all that) at Modern and Hep College and will never have to go back to Shark Teeth Marathi teacher type language teachers.

Some time ago, after my college started, when K was bored, we went for a trek to Visapur in August and later we also went to Torna. K also allowed me to read a few novels after my tenth. The monster had actually gone and told shrieky to stop me from reading novels. (Shrieky was my maths teacher who loved to shriek. But unfortunately, she had taught K 8 years before she taught me and has never recovered from the trauma which caused her to be transformed into someone amused by silly things such as shouting at us).

Just in case my English doesn't look(!) good, please don't be very angry with Modern teachers only because they teach us English in Marathi. I guess its my fault I am not being a good student and learning well.

Anyways, the real purpose of this post is to gather sympathy. So let me describe the latest trauma. Read only if you are currently in possession of a pack of tissue papers…which also happens to K's favourite commodity.

K's latest claim is she's bomb blast fighting. And what is she fighting with in reality? Me. In an e-mail, my new/weird sister claims she's at the receiving end of K's gunfire (rubbish). But I am the real tortured soul. I am at the receiving end of K's newly found wisdom…plagiarized wisdom; I am at the end of all the shouting and beating a frustrated monster can humanly manage. I am also at the end where you discover the petrol in your bike suddenly disappears.

She gives me ideas and when I realize them, she berates me and calls me cheap. Is it cheap to misuse the facilities of an engineering college? Is it wrong to not pay for parking in a pay and park? Is it wrong to go park your bike in another college where parking is free for students?

Like her servile wife, I wait till she comes home, so that we can have dinner together and she then gobbles up all the dinner of the world without me!

I need good health to bear the non sense I am subjected to. Therefore, I request all the good people of the world, to please, sincerely make an effort to convince her to take me for a tiny trekky trek. I am like a bird in a cage. The staleness of this post is evidence of the fact that I desperately need to be taken out of this house for some fresh air. Btw, she took me to Bombay last week. Bombay's her idea of fresh and clean air and and nice, peaceful, open environment. The fever has gone away, the cold is almost gone, but the cough still persists. So I need fresh air. It's a medical emergency.

Bombay reminds me, K is named after a dog (female dog) and this time when she was in Bombay, she even met the dog. And seriously, they connected really well. I mean the dog who barked and sniffed at me for ten years, only remote-sniffed K for 30 seconds.

Btw, as I was writing this post, I was exposed to new non sense. I need someone to explain to me how I can "suffocate" her "hand" by lying next to her???

Btw, K claims she's an egg. She should make a public announcement herself, shortly. I only thought I should let you know since you have so nicely and patiently read my post.

Love,
Pearl

I'm so Lucky!!

2007-07-23T16:21:00.000+05:30

That's what I have been hearing ever since the SSC results have been announced. All my classmates and the shark-toothed Marathi teacher let me know that I was "lucky" to have scored a 90.15. And after a month of getting offended and fuming and complaining about it and fighting with K darling (it's so convenient to fight with her when you feel like beating up someone), I realised that I am indeed lucky thanks to K.

I was upset by the fact that everybody called me "lucky" for having a good result (and not achieving it), and so, the “Spiritual” K turned to her “Spiritual Guru”, Google Baba for help. The following is some of Google Baba's priceless and eye-opening advice:

“Luck is an event where opportunity meets preparation”. – Anthony Robbins.

Here is another one from here:
We consider people lucky when, using no apparent effort, they just automatically run into favorable situations that we call luck. Luck isn't necessarily a result of karma or coincidence. I believe that these lucky people actually "unconsciously generate" their so-called luck. They think and behave in ways that create good fortune in their lives. A large part of this is through a positive attitude or mindset…

And this is another nice one. Some (really really long) excerpts from it :

Isn't there a distinction between chance and luck?
There's a big distinction. Chance events are like winning the lottery. They're events over which we have no control, other than buying a ticket. They don't consistently happen to the same person. They may be formative events in people's lives, but they're not frequent. When people say that they consistently experience good fortune, I think that, by definition, it has to be because of something they are doing.

In other words, they make their own luck.
That's right. What I'm arguing is that we have far more control over events than we thought previously. You might say, "Fifty percent of my life is due to chance events." No, it's not. Maybe 10% is. That other 40% that you think you're having no influence over at all is actually defined by the way you think.

What are some of the ways that lucky people think differently from unlucky people?
One way is to be open to new experiences. Unlucky people are stuck in routines. When they see something new, they want no part of it. Lucky people always want something new. They're prepared to take risks and relaxed enough to see the opportunities in the first place.

How did you uncover that in your lab?
We did an experiment. We asked subjects to flip through a news-paper that had photographs in it. All they had to do was count the number of photographs. That's it. Luck wasn't on their minds, just some silly task. They'd go through, and after about three pages, there'd be a massive half-page advert saying, STOP COUNTING. THERE ARE 43 PHOTOGRAPHS IN THIS NEWSPAPER. It was next to a photo, so we knew they were looking at that area. A few pages later, there was another massive advert -- I mean, we're talking big -- that said, STOP COUNTING. TELL THE EXPERIMENTER YOU'VE SEEN THIS AND WIN 150 POUNDS [about $235].

For the most part, the unlucky would just flip past these things. Lucky people would flip through and laugh and say, "There are 43 photos. That's what it says. Do you want me to bother counting?" We'd say, "Yeah, carry on." They'd flip some more and say, "Do I get my 150 pounds?" Most of the unlucky people didn't notice.

But the business culture typically worships drive -- setting a goal, single-mindedly pursuing it, and plowing past obstacles. Are you arguing that, to be more lucky, we need to be less focused?
This is one of the most counterintuitive ideas. We are traditionally taught to be really focused, to be really driven, to try really hard at tasks. But in the real world, you've got opportunities all around you. And if you're driven in one direction, you're not going to spot the others. It's about getting people to have various game plans running in their heads. Unlucky people, if they go to a party wanting to meet the love of their life, end up not meeting people who might become close friends or people who might help them in their careers. Being relaxed and open allows lucky people to see what's around them and to maximize what's around them.

Much of business is also about rational analysis: pulling up the spreadsheet, running the numbers, looking at the serious facts. Yet you found that lucky people rely heavily on their gut instincts.
Yes. You don't want to broadly say that whenever you get an intuitive feeling, it's right and you should go with it. But you could be missing out on a massive font of knowledge that you've built up over the years. We are amazingly good at detecting patterns. That's what our brains are set up to do.
(This is something I watched in a documentary titled "Human Instinct". It said that a part of our brain, immediately starts to compare the current situation with past ones and what you think is gut feeling, is actually a result of analyzing your experiences and realizing the differences between the current situation and the past situation.)

What are some other ways you found that lucky people's minds operate differently?
They practice "counterfactual thinking." The degree to which you think that something is fortunate or not is the degree to which you generate alternatives that are better or worse.

Unlucky people say, "I can't believe I've been in another car accident." Lucky people go, "Wonderful. Yes, I had a car accident, but I wasn't killed. And I met the guy in the other car, and we got on really well, and there might be a relationship there." What's interesting is that both ways of thinking are unconscious and automatic. It would never occur to the unlucky people to see it a different way.

But can we acknowledge that sometimes bad stuff -- car accidents, natural disasters -- just happens? Sometimes it's purely bad, and there's nothing good about it.
I've never heard that from a lucky person.

So if you buy that way of thinking, then there is no bad luck.
That's right. That's what was weird about conducting some of the interviews. Subjects would say, "I'm the luckiest person alive" -- and they'd come up with dreadful stories. They'd have the same life events as the unlucky person, but they'd look at them entirely differently.

Isn't that just a fancy version of the power of positive thinking?
There's more science to it -- as opposed to the classic "Just think positive, and you'll be successful." I think if you understand a little about where it's coming from, it's a bit easier to adapt into your life.

We had a subject named Carolyn. When she would come to the unit to be interviewed, it would be just this whole string of bad-luck stories: "I can't find anyone. I'm unlucky in love. When I did find someone, the guy fell off his motorbike. The next blind date broke his nose. We were supposed to get married, and the church burned down." But to every single interview, she'd bring along her two kids. They were 6 and 7 years old -- very healthy, very happy kids who'd sit there and play. And it was interesting, because most people would love to have two kids like that, but that wasn't part of her world, because she was unlucky in her mind.

K also quoted Robert Frost:
"Education is the ability to listen to anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."

(Do not think that Google Baba is not wise because he never said any of those things. He's not a plagiarist. Because, though Google Baba may not have said those things, it was he who brought them to our notice. That's why he's still “The Baba” and the coolest dude of Baba-land)

K also generated her own wisdom, (which she claims she did before turning to the great “Google Baba”)

Why do you *need* Bond to buy you your seat Pearl? I can't understand you?
What are you worried about??
And what are you irritated about??
People saying you're "LUCKY"??????

Of course you're a lucky (swear word I removed to avoid obscenity on my blog)... because you've *created* your luck. Lady luck is not some mythological character.

Dude, you are lucky, and your luck will stay with you for ever, because you create it. You'll just have to get used to being lucky.

(She said all this because I for one moment wanted to "buy" a seat, because for that one silly moment I thought that Merit was just a fancy term, that would become part of the old English after a couple of years.)

Unlike K, I won't generate my own wisdom. But I do acknowledge the fact that I am lucky and I love it that way :)

P.S. K has also brought to my kind attention the fact that she learnt a new word, which is "shadefreude".

da k learns da knew lingo

2007-06-10T11:37:00.000+05:30

I always thought K's English was impeccable. However, after she has started working, her personality has undergone a major metamorphosis. First, she harassed people with her checklist mania. Last week, she even drove me to the extent of tying her hands so that I could get some work done without her interference and her picking up everything I was working with and messing up the whole place. After messing up everything in the name of organistion, she now wants to work on her communication skills. She believes that in "today's world", her communication must be crisp and to the point. So she asked me to tutor her on "chat language". The following is the conversationg we had on orkut.

Btw, she started it all. And we were not more than a foot away from each other. Our computers were even on the same table. But she wants to be tech savvy.

K: Hi Ankita... how u r? M fine nd gd. Enjyn lfe. U 2??

Me: wats up wid u? y r u typin in da cheep langwage sum ppl use in ma scrap buk?
(What's up with you? Why are you typing in the cheap language some people use in my scrap book?)
Btw, in this dialect, block letters don't exist :P

K: Oops... I'm sorry. But I'l still learning.

Me: No you don't sound sorry, or else you would have corrected yourself atleast this time.
Its:
oops.. im sory. but il stil learnin.
One more tip:
The only punctuation is the period :P

K: oops.. m sry. bt ill lrn soon. spclly if u tch me prprly.

P.S: Is this better??

Me: No it's not. It's like this:

ps. is tis better..

I told you. Only period. No question or exclamation. The ellipses (two dots here. So maybe they're not ellipses after all :D) are enough to indicate a question.

K: but i dnt wnt 2 lrn sch a crpy lnguge. i cnt undrstnd nethng.

Me:Can you be frugal with the use of the period? Every sentence of your's ends with one? You have no value for anything? Because of peole like you the question marks, the exclamation marks, the vowels are all extinct. Learn to behave yourself. I am disgusted!

K: den wht m i suppsd 2 do wid da perod.. or cn i combne 2 sentncs nd nt ful stp dem nd use preposition 2 indicate new sentences..

Me:Now do you want the consonants to be extinct as well? 'And' can be sufficiently expressed with 'n'. Supposed need not be written with two p's. Since the vowels are on the verge of exticntion, 'the' can be expressed as 'd'.

People like you should be banned from orkut. The punctuation is gone, the vowels are going, now you're about to send the consonants away. Are you working towards the end of all written communication?

K: As a matter of fact, Yes.

K: Btw... I can't get a head or tail of the conversation we've been having. I'm lost. Can we please revert to English?

Me: No no. We must revert "BACK" to English. How can we only revert? Do you want to go only halfway upto English?

After this, the people from the lunatic asylum came to take us away, so we had to abort the conversation and had to flee from our own homes. Our own homes!!!! Besides, we anyways couldn't even understand ourselves.

Love,
Pearl

Back with a bang... and the much awaited Kronicles!

2007-04-07T20:38:00.000+05:30

Now that I have recovered from the shock of all the horrible malpractices I witnessed during the SSC exams and the shock of spending two week ends with my sister, I am prepared to write a post.

Keeping with the tradition of this blog, we obviously, post the Kronicles!!!!!

Shona babes, popularly knows as the Great Kathak, apparently has started to get very seriously involved in her work. She seems to enjoy working from 8 in the morning to all horrid times of the night. A couple of times right upto morning; which is totally destroying her. Dedication to work is nice. I appreciate it. It's a good charater trait and all things nice. However, she has turned into a psychopath working this way... not that she wasn't mad before!

1. She never takes my calls or reads or listens to my messages. In fact she comes home and reads or listens to them in front of me.
2. When I commented on her laziness last weekend and called her unproductive, she responded (half in her sleep) that she was very productive because she didn't have her cell phone with her. Thanks for teaching me what productivity was didi. Till today I always thought productivity was about creating something or maybe doing something usefull, something that has some value. But now I am wiser and know that productivity is about staying away from your cell phone. Therefore, I promise to throw away my phone. I too want to be productive so that I too can get into the IIT's or maybe NIT's or some nice college and become all the more productive.
3. Poor thing has this ancient window AC in her room and is jealous of my brand new, remote-controlled, split AC. She thinks I am the reason her AC over cools her room and she cannot sleep. She almost murdered me for that today morning when I took the risk of trying to wake her up without any protection.
4. She was always a "checklist" obsessed creature and had a checklist even if she had to go out for a picnic. She always claimed that she was operating at SEI CMMi level 3 - the stage where everything is "defined", "repeatable" or something to that effect. Now, after she has started working on the project she currently is working on, this disease has gotten worse. She claims she's SEI CMMi level 5 now - with her checklists and her art of writing checklists undergoing "continuous improvement". It doesn't help she's some sort of a "Quality" person in her team whose job is to make and update all sorts of inane checklists!. She even makes a checklist about clipping her finger nails and toe nails! She has absolutely no limits. I pity her manager! I am sorry to invade on your privacy Shona, but three senseless items on her check list are

Skipping

Saturday
Sunday

Sorting Clothes (This is about separating her "new" clothes from my "new" clothes - the ones we picked up today.)
Watching Fountainhead (Btw, I picked that up for her a week ago)

5. She is also so sleep deprived (because she comes home and then chats nineteen to a dozen on her cell phone till early morning, and then wakes up and rushes to office :( ) that she has been sleeping for 12 hours a day for the past two weekends. So she makes me stay at home all weekend waiting for her to get up in the afternoon and then we go out in the evening. The exception being today when she got up at 10 and finally took me shopping so that I now have clothes and accessories that make me look more civilised. Btw, we went shopping for me, and the total clothes count for her and me is the same - 7 T-shirts each, 2 salwar kameezes for her, 1 for me... 2 pairs of denims for me, 1 for her! This when she decided she wouldn't pick up a single pair of clothing!!!

I think five irritating things about Shona are enough for one set of the Kronicles! Just thinking about this monster of a sister, who lately has been playing taxi driver to her colleagues at various odd times of the night and weekends is enough to give me a head ache.

I promise I will post lovelier things next time. Not "Kronicles" about my weird sister who no longer cares about me. I think we should phase out this section! Now she's moved on from being my official typist to being my "reviewer". And she's threatening me to not review my posts if I do not type them in MS Word, so that she can review them and use the "track changes feature" to edit and mark review comments on my post! And then she wants to re-review my "review comments incorporated" post! Whoa!

However, I still love her in spite of her meaningless and senseless existence. Just like someone likes being with their pet. We're not attached you know, we just like being together. (I am sorry readers if you do not understand this statement. I am just trying to embarass my sister).
Not attached - Separate (like Shona's attol whatever test... whatever that is :P ... she actually had the nerve to talk about attol whatever test to some team member from Manipal over roaming!!!!) Eeks...!!!!!

Dear readers,

I promise to post more often now!

Love,
Anks!

P.S: I doubt my "reviewer" will ever recover from reading her own nonsense documented! - Oh... that's another thing she fancies - Word documentation. In college she even wrote reports about one day visits to places where she could have done without writing the report. Properly formatted and all.... talking about formatting, the idiot even formats her text messages on the mobile... and ... Well... some other day!

The Kronicles must go on...!!

2006-11-05T21:55:00.000+05:30

They say "The show must go on". I say, the "Kronicles must go on". Pearl is missing from the face of planet earth, this however is no reason for someone to not post Kronicles. The reader should be entertained, I say! So I'm here with the Pearl Kronicles ;)

(Initially posted on my blog)

Pearl off late has been experimenting with the "Scooty". With the old scooty that I, in the good old days, used to ride. Its the scooty that took me to Sinhagad. Its the scooty that took me to Khadakwasla Dam. That took me across 30 km of the Bombay-Bangalore bypass. Nostalgia... always strikes at the wrong time!!!

Well, to go on, Pearl one fine day is riding along. Day-dreaming about being the Maharastra Board Pune division SSC topper, and BANG!!!! On regaining her senses she realises that she had banged into this nice fat round BLACK buffalo!!!! Pretty much love at first sight. Pearl fell in love, head over heals! Honestly!!!!!!!! And she refuses to tell either Bond or Mom about it. Now the trauma (!?!!!!) of first love is so so so so so so much that poor little Pearl has started fantasising about Sex with the buffalo. About waking up, looking into the enchanting eyes of the buffalo next to her.

I think I'm traumatised now ;)

Do students from vernacular mediums fare better?

2006-08-18T17:47:00.000+05:30

The following is a speech I wrote for an Inter School Debate Competition, however I was unable to participate because in a school of some 720 students in the high school, I was the only one who wrote anything at all. No partner, no debate :(

P.S: I'll post the elements later... promise :)

To quote K Darling, "Education is about transcending linguistic barriers and not being intimidated by them."

This topic, in my opinion, would encompass another important issue, which we cannot ignore, and that is, “What exactly is education”? “What does education strife for?”

To answer, “what does education strife for”, - Education works to enhance the survivability factor in a world where only the fittest survive. Education is an important factor for success. “Education” comes first. The “kind of”, and the medium of instruction next. To elucidate, education of any kind, formal – in schools and institutions of higher learning; informal – in the playground, with your neighbor’s granddad, gardening with your mother, at a social event and even in a debate like this, to speak of a few, has precedence over the medium of instruction. Moving further, the importance of the medium of instruction somewhere gets diluted and slowly fades away. Successful people do not succeed because they have been educated in a particular language, but because they have the aptitude, the attitude and an inclination for knowledge; it is because they are pioneers, industrious and creative. A language does not affect or effect one’s creativity or other talents. The cognition of a language, or the lack of it does not take away skills from one.

At the risk of contradicting what I have spoken in the last 2 minutes, students educated in English do have advantages over students who have been educated in a vernacular language. To clarify this contradiction, though the technical and text book knowledge of students in both schools is the same, it would be hypocritical not to admit that knowing English, which is so to say, a global language, gives them a first hand access to global literature and research - a majority of which happens to be in English; and this is not the platform to debate “why” global literature is in English. It might be of interest to add, that knowledge of “German” is encouraged in engineering schools solely because there is a lot of engineering related technical literature in German. And the Japanese are catching up really fast! Coming back to the point, and keeping German and Japanese aside for this debate, comfort with English – an advantage that students educated in English medium schools have – gives them this edge over other students… only till an enterprising student from a vernacular school catches up with them.

And as a natural conclusion, I come to the point that has real importance, and that is development of young minds. Success depends on development of the mind. “The Mind”, is of importance here. And the language of instruction cannot, I repeat, cannot undermine this importance.

FIRE!!

2006-07-04T20:12:00.000+05:30

The five basic elements of nature-fire, water, space, wind, earth – and harnessing these - has been man’s greatest achievement towards not only his own development but also that of his environment. It was only when man learnt to understand and control the powers of these elements was he able to realize success.

Fire…

The thought of which conjures images of warmth, power, intensity, unrelenting survival, passionate beauty.

Fire – an element that aided and abetted man’s foray into knowledge; to quote well known and world famous author Kathak, “Right from the time the early man discovered fire, there started this unremitting process of development.”

Fire with all its annihilating powers, has facilitated life. Picture this: It is the intense heat of fire that is necessary for the continuation of redwood forests!?!!!! The heat that causes the tough redwood seeds to burst open. From striking flint stones against each other to striking phosphorus matches against rough surfaces… there’s been the use of fire from the Homo sapiens’ era to today for protection, warmth, landscaping, forging metals, and all along the way for cooking food- an ingenious way of fighting diseases. And…interestingly or not, a Barber in Africa also uses fire for hairstyling!!

Coming Up
Water
Space
Wind
Earth

It's Her Birthday Today

2005-11-09T05:38:00.000+05:30

I don't know why, but recently my sister refuses to recognize me, she stares at me in the middle of the night thinking I'am an alien, then decides I'am her colleague and goes back to sleep. She also refuses to register my wishes, I've been trying since twelve o'clock. However, at exactly this moment, she says the gift I got her is beautiful. And since five in the morning she has been asking me to get chocolates from closed shops which will be fed to me, 'cos she thinks its okay if I put on weight, but she can't put on weight eating all those chocolates I buy... this is what happens when people sleep for only 4 hours a day. 12 hours in 3 days, and my bully sister needs 16 hours of sleep a day to quote the birthday baby herself!

But my Shona Babes is still very lovable!!

Happy Birthday Shona Babes!!!

P.S. My post is bigger than Mathi Bhaiyya's post :P

P.P.S She likes colour

2005-10-24T21:16:00.000+05:30

This is something I wrote for an essay competition in school. The topic was one of my most memorable moments, and my most memorable moments were the moments of my initiation into the world of blogging. I dedicate this post to Kathak, because for the second time she mercilessly didn't murder my post and really liked something I wrote and also because she hasn’t been the official typist for this post.

October 10, 2004. Since then is when I’ve been a blogger. The pen is mightier than the sword, they say and I cannot agree more. At this age, I cannot be a journalist. But my love for journalism and computers led me to the discovery of blogs. Blogs, that is short for weblogs, existed long before me, but I came to know about them in May 2004. And encouraged by many other blogger’s I got myself a blog. And that moment is fantastically etched in my memory.

A blog is like a newspaper or magazine, or rather an online journal which anyone can write. A person or a group of people could write articles on social, political, economical issues or about his or her personal experiences or what they had for breakfast this morning, if they so desire… or maybe Ruskin Bond style short stories. Topic for the story? Anything…from obsessions, to multi-personality disorders…. and the wackiest ones you could ever come across.

People who come across a blog, like any other internet site, can read those articles and even leave their comments. Blogs are a wonderful way of communicating and reaching out over the World Wide Web. They are not censored, but that does not mean they are vulgar. It just means that you can speak very freely for or against Bush. In fact, it is very interesting to read other people’s experiences in different parts of the world from Karachi to Malaysia to the jungles of the Amazon.

They are an excellent source of information. Now one reason why my sister did not go in for an Airtel simcard was because her friend’s views against it were echoed by a lot of other bloggers who have written about their bizarre experiences with the company. And my dad did not put up certain foreign visitors at a particular hotel in Pune, because a blogger from Mumbai had complained about Bed bugs in the Hotel.

That moment when I got my blog was the most memorable for me, because I finally could express myself. I could and can share my sister’s absurdities with the world. Even write meaningful articles like a journalist and publish them, without any editor cutting off my favourite parts. It gives you intellectual exercise and has definitely improved my capacity to express myself.

I’ve also had a few unpleasant experiences, but then they don’t really count much, Tough I’d like to mention that quite a few of them have been prevented because of copyright. My speech for a debate was copied by a competitor from my blog. I still very firmly believe it is only copyright that prevented her from using it. My intellectual property was protected.

The story of how I got my blog is a little strange. Throughout the five minutes that it took to create it, selecting a pen name for myself, and then a template for the blog, all I did was watch open mouthed- absolutely unprepared for it to happen. Since I was, to put it in my sister’s words, “after her to get me a blog” but scared to do it myself, my sister created my blog. And now that I’m quite a prolific blogger – even if I say so myself – it seems funny that I was so scared. The moment still remains with me, when I first hit publish! And saw my words in black and white!

Before I log off, let me show you how it’s done. I login to my account, type a post, press the publish button and wait a while. And Ta Da! It’s done!

The typist from hell

2005-09-24T21:53:00.000+05:30

She's mad. She hates Paneer and Chocolates with nuts. and she types just about anything under the sun. She's even typing this then hyphen, her own - what is "ninda" in english, whatever is it, write that.

She's absurd, and word I utter she types. I don't know what to type, you type. Wait, I got it will you stop stealing my papaya and type? Its also called pawpaw, type pawpaw, I like the sound of it. Shut up, its called - check wordweb. OMG mummy's come with afresh stock of pawpaws, you type, I'll eat. You hog, give them to me and type. Sorry Mathi Bhaiyya, Sudha Anna and Danny and Revs. My sister is a freak. She's even planning to wear orange and red coloured clothes to office. You see her office loves rainbows so she's wearing the colours of the rainbows. Didi, shut up, there is only one rainbow and not multiple rainbows. She even has Violet and Indigo clothes. The blue and green and orange and red. Where is yellow? But she even had yellow clothes. Didi, give the keyboard, give the keyboard ya. You're such a pest. Give me that keyboard this instant. I'll drwon you in a pot of, type na, pot of pawpaws now. Baby spell drown and d-r-o-w-n. Now she'll write that also. Hey bhagwan, kar kalyan. Now listen, type seriously, don't type nonsense and if you don't type sense after this sentence then i'll drown you in a pot of pawpaws.

What was the purpose of this post btw? Didi that question was adressed to you. Erase it if you don't want to see that pot of pawpaws. Come aside, I'll type. Thank you for your services. Now come. Okay, don't come but type sense.

The post was about Chocolate and Nuts and Paneer on special request from Mathi Bhaiyya. But bhaiyya, let's keep that for the next time as I can't think any further after what my typist has done. and my typist keeps telling me to do that compliated C project before the month ends. She's such a big bully in life :(

Love you all!
Pearl

My sister is a monk

2005-08-25T14:58:00.000+05:30

This happened even before we reached home from my school. Me. My friend. My sister. We, were all coming home from school. My sister had come to pick me and my friend from school. We were playing a word building game and my sister tried to act too smart by saying 's' after lac to make laceration. But we innocent creatures did not know and we became 'm's for challenging her. So we decided to take revenge.

My sister started the word with 'p', and said p for parrot. So we made parrots and she became an 'm'. And slowly we turned her into an monk. It was lucky that my friend's house came, else befor you can wink, she would have been a monkey.... :D

Well, but a monkey she anyways is.
All of us know she teaches at Aptech.
The same Aptech from where I had once learned C programming.
And then she comes across this lady who was on a break and rejoined some days ago. So she asks me if I knew any lady who was in my batch and was on a break. So I say yes. Then she describes her physical attributes (okayish height-skinny-fair etc etc) which sort of match my lady. So we look for more matches and then she gives me the most vital piece of information - "Her husband is a software program". Please note Ladies and gentlemen, the lady's husband is a software *program*!!!!

If that wasn't enough, we come across a lock on the road without a key. So, Ms. Teacher at Aptech says "Lets pick that lock up". I tell her, "it has no key", so she says "We'll change the lock". Errr... smart babe, your point being?

The Kronicles #lost count is dedicated to Sudha Anna, for whom this is posted on special request! others can also make special requests, I like attention which my sister never gives me any, but gives her students and friends. She even takes Mathi Bhaiyya on the highway but not me. She even teaches RS at Aptech but not me. But she types my posts and reads my Science paper but we can ignore such minor details.

2005-08-15T16:59:00.000+05:30

स्वतंत्रता
दिवस की
शुभकिमनाए

I want

2005-08-14T14:22:00.000+05:30

C
O
L
D

C
O
F
F
E
E

P.S: Will someone please explain the cold coffee joke to me?

Moon Walk

2005-08-06T21:50:00.000+05:30

This is the first of many of Bond's Photographs that he had taken during his IIT Roorkee (then University of Roorkee) days i.e between 1972 to 1976. Bond won photography awards in his first and second year of engineering, after which he was debarred from competing as the college reasoned and I paraphrase "as long as you compete no one else has the remotest chance of winning"! He after that, held solo photography exhibitions in the university campus, ofcourse non competing!

This one is titled "Moon Walk" and it traces the path of the moon in a span of approximately 12 minutes. It was taken by a Yashika 635 twin lens reflex. The path was captured by keeping the shutter open for the time duration.

Dear World,

2005-07-31T13:19:00.000+05:30

Dear World,
Have you been missing me? It's been quite a long time since we've met. And in that time, a lot of things have happened.

I celebrated my birthday. I went to the Ninth Standard. I'm a big girl now. I aldready wrote a Unit Test. Tried my hand at C. Told that older sister of mine to teach me C++ and she taught me for 10 minutes and then told me that because I don't know C she will not teach me C++! An all the while I was thinking I knew C!!! Oh and, my sister has officially become a "teacher"... talk about weird happenings! But when I ask her about "classes" in C++, she asks me about "structures" from C and we go into an infinite loop!

Read lots of novels (authors I had never read before you know), and till now I loved Airport the best. You know Airport, by Arthur Hailey, don't you? Oh! It's a wonderful novel. It's huge, but two days should be enough. It hasn't even got a very sad ending like "Evening News", in which Arther Hailey murdered my Hero in the end. I even read "To Cut a long story short" by Jeffrey Archer, which is a collection of short stories, classics if I may call them that; "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown, "To sir with love" by E.R. Braithwaite, which is a wonderful story of a black engineer in London, who is unable to find employment so takes up teaching kids in school, about how he transforms the life of these unfortunate children and gets himself accepted at the school, with the children; and many other novels I can't recall right now. I even tried to read the original "Julius Caeser" by Shakespeare, but gave up beacause it was too difficult to understand, so I got an abridged edition of six Shakespeare plays, and realised that in all his "Tragic" plays, everyone dies at the end. I saw the movie "Parineeta", in the end of which Saif Ali Khan uproots a fountain and with it breaks a wall that separates his house from his lover's.

Then I did bowling myself for the first time, and realised that its not as simple as it looks. But I did managed to srike off all ten pins once! I got addicted to "spellathon" and "Su-doku" and passed on the addiction of Su-doku to Kathak, and Bond, and now K has turned into a very cheap Su-doku theif, who tries to solve Su-doku's when I'm writing my exams. We even had our official Su-doku fight where we tore the newspaper into two fighting over who will solve the Su-doku. And she's sitting and solving Su-doku's like her life depends on it and doesn't read my post.

Amusing time, ain't it?

Maxims of Worldly Precepts - An entire baker's dozen of them

2005-04-24T20:33:00.000+05:30

My exams are finally over and I got my results! People I messed up my maths I and II papers, and my science, and my marathi ... still I think I'm either rank 2 or 3... hopefully 2, but then there's 7+6+13+whatever in marathi I could have scored more.

Some new things I learnt from my darling sister

1. If you lose your keys, you can "call" the keys just like you call the cell to locate it. Universal method eh?
2. If you lose your journal sheets, before you check your own files you call your friend just to discover they are not with her but they are at your own house, in your very file where you file everything.
3. To get exercise, you go and pick up the photographs from FotoFast walking... that's 20 minutes each way. But to get more exercise, you drag Pearl along... it seems that improves the metabolic rate. Ya whatever.
4. To lose weight even faster, you make sure Pearl doesn't go for a walk at the same time you are out... even when Pearl can keep the speed with which you walk.
5. To lose even more more weight, you eat pedha's that have been brought from Shirdi... frozen.
6. The best way to clear your own wardrobe is to get inside Pearl's wardrobe and throw away her favourite clothes.
7. You ask Pearl to search for details of your "idea cell" number, on a BSNL site.
8. You don't want to let Pearl ride the scooty because you believe she is not very stable, while you, who hasn't been riding it for over 12 months now still feel you're highly stable when you take turns at 65 kph.
9. When you go shopping for Pearl's clothes, you end up buying 2 lipstics and a kajal pencil, when you have never in your life till date (barring one or two "saree occasions") ever used any of these things... and then you find it highly amusing that the "seller guy" was showing you the colour on your hand... and you find it more amusing when he gives you cotton and cream to get rid of it.
10. Again, when you go shopping for Pearl's clothes, you get Pearl to help you decide what looks better on you, the Blue or the Red, instead of the other way round.
11. You insist that the broken piece of jewellery in Pearl's hand is a "tika" which is to be worn in the head when its actually a part of a bangle.
12. Everytime Pearl pours herself a glass of water, you drink it yourself and insist it is your birthright!
13. And most important of all, you never buy your younger sister any birthday gifts saying that
she never reads the books you bought and all the stuff that she knows from the books, she must just have guessed.

I'm enlightened. Thanks so much K. You're a genius, You really are.

2005-03-26T13:38:00.000+05:30

Happy Holi!!!

How to reduce fiscal deficit when there is none - the Kronicles 6

2005-03-20T17:17:00.000+05:30

Everyday someone is hammering and hammering over our heads - the house on the floor above is undergoing renovation. One fine day, and another not so fine day they decide to hammer on our front door! And since Mummy couldn't find the contractor, she decided it was safer to start locking the house with and additional lock.

Now the BIG mistake she made here was that she asked our very own K darling to buy it. Now, K is a very smart babe!

And for a few details before you come to know how we got the strongest lock to be found in the world. One which could never ever be broken in the history or future of human kind.

It was one fine afternoon, K and Agent R were indulging in the customary chai and gossip session while taking a break from their project, and mom asked them to go over and get the lock. K managed to locate a hardware store (WOW K... What an achievement you didn't land at the grocers). K thought it wasn't safe to leave the car alone, so she left Agent R to protect it from all destructive forces. A few minutes later, K ccomes back with a smile on her face like she just won the next world war single handedly! Everyone comes home, safe and sound (Okay... I have to give it to K here, she's one of the safest drivers on road) but then again, its fun saying "and they came home safe and sound"!

Darlings, now we look at the lock. The lock... for the main door. The MAIN DOOR. Like the door that guards the entire house. Yes, that door!!

And this was the war that K won, A translated version (the original was hindi)

K:Bhaiyya, do have locks to lock the main doors of the house?
Shopkeeper (S):Yes we do. (And takes out a nice big lock) Will this do?
K: Err... (giving him a frightened look, tentatively looking at the lock, staring at it from all angles, all possible ways, opening it, locking it, playing with it, giving it a hundred looks and then a tentative smile). What does it cost?

Now with the amount of time she spent admiring the lock, you'd think she'll pick it up.
S: Three fifty rupees.
K: (Gets a heart attack) WHHHHAAAATTTTTTTTTT?????? THREE FIFTY RUPEES????????????? Don't you have anything cheaper?
S: Yes, we do. Its a godrej lock blah blah....
This time K comes straight to the point.
K: What does it cost?
S: 250 ruppes.
K: Something cheaper?
S: Then there's one for 145?
K: Err... 145? Nothing cheaper?
By now the shopkeeper was wondering if the psyco came to pick a lock for the main door or for show? K was anyway convinced the lock was just for show and she didn't want to spend more than 20 rupees for a lock that would be for show. But then the point is, she asked the shopkeeper for a lock for the *main door*.
S: Ma'am, this one is for 85 rupees
K: (staring at him blankly)
S: Ma'am 35 rupees?
K: Nah... that is too small, show me something bigger.
S: Ma'am, this one os for 50 rupees.

Now K is suddenly very happy. 50 rupees for a lock, not a bad bargain, but I don't know if thats how you drive a bargain. So, a very happy K gets in the car and tells Agent R how "the $%#^all shopkeeper had lost his #$&*ing brains and blah blah with a lot of swearing and laughing.

And then all of us saw the lock, and believe me we couldn't stop laughing for the next hour. The lock was barely a main door lock and it could be broken with a simple hammer! Of course, K justifies saying that its meant for show, so that those people can see that we have a lock, and get scared in trying to break in. Yeah Sure, K!!

Next time people, you need assistance in buying locks, you know the person, just not to ask! Also, the next time you need a nice word for your post, kindly follow that advice again. I asked K for a nice word for my next post, and she came up with "fiscal deficit". Well.. but on looking up the meaning of the word I thought it made for the perfect title.

Pearl Chronicles, #2

2005-02-22T17:35:00.000+05:30

Hello people, its been a long time you guys been devoid of entertainment. And since I do seem to be relatively (Now thats a tricky word) free, here goes.

One fine day Pearl finds a stick. A nice stick, approx. 500mm long and our little pearl takes the stick to class. Now, it is rather amusing, for a teacher to see her "very hardworking and intelligent" student (and i'm sure someone hit the teacher on her head because the student is a very 24 hours TV watching student), to be playing with a stick. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Pearl during maths class was playing with a stick! Well, that was 8:45 in the morning, and it was a long day ahead. Pearl oblivious to all the attention she was drawing kept playing with that stick and before you knew it, it was 3:00 pm, or there abouts! And the maths teacher back and Pearl still playing with her stick! Finally the teacher can take it no more and she asks, "Pearl, will you keep playing with that stick all day long"?

And that was the moment of realisation. When my really smart sister figured she's upto no good!

But that is not the end.
Another day, another stick.
Pearl comes home with a stick this time.
And a much longer stick, my guess would be 1000mm.

My cousin was around and she asks, "Pearl, why have you got this?"
Without missing a beat, she answers "aapni pitai karwane ke liye!"
(so that you ppl can spank me)
Ahhh.... the pleasures of having such a considerate sister!

A lot can happen in 11 days

2005-02-18T23:59:00.000+05:30

1. Pearl's post was copied by a competitor from the other house ('tis a small world?)
2. The other girl changed her speech
3. Pearl cleared the elimination round to go onto the finals
4. Pearl won the best speaker award
5. Her team also won the best team.

Can we hear it for Pearl..... guys?

Culture Exists

2005-02-07T01:40:00.000+05:30

This is the trascript of the speech for my debate in school. I'm representing my house!! The topic is "Culture exists no more" and I'm speaking against it.

Mahatma Gandhi opined that no culture could live, if it attempts to be exclusive! Culture, in my opinion, is the way of life of a people, and this dynamically changes with the changing time.

There are certain people who do believe that culture, with changing times has ceased to exist. Yes culture has ceased to exist, the way it used to be. The keywords here being “the way it used to be”. By which I imply that our culture has not ceased to exist, but has just evolved with changing times. I’m not taking up the case with culture fanatics here, however I would like to put forth my point, by raising a few questions and coming up with a few answers.

1. Is a better standard of living in society the death of culture?
2. Does the death of blind faith equate to death of culture?
3. Does respecting certain sections of society earlier looked down upon including women and the so-called “lower classes” the death of culture?
4. Is questioning the conventional perception of god the death of culture?
5. Is honesty and being upfront in your thoughts and actions stifling culture?

Before this turns out to look more like an examination question paper, let me carry on, in a slightly different vein! I would like to talk a little about the evolution of what we call Indian culture.

India has a cultural heritage of over many thousands of years - from the Harappa valley civilisation to the Aryan invasion, then to the Maurya-Ashoka-Gupta dynasties to the Mughal and British invasions and finally the present day India.

Harappa was the introduction to an “organised society”.
The Aryans brought with them the caste system wherein society was divided into the four varnas.
Emperor Ashoka popularised Buddhism, the popularity of which is seen from the marvellous work at Ajanta-Ellora and many other such caves!
The Maurya dynasty incorporated principles of justice and honesty.
Indian history has seen great achievements in the field of medicine by Charak and Sushruta, contribution to mathematics by Aryabhatta, to name a few among many other great scholars.
Awesome architecture, literature that is revered not only in India but also the world over, paintings, textiles and what have you!
The English invaders brought a lot of knowledge that we had closed our doors to, at one point in time. Incidentally it was this knowledge that also helped us get rid of the very invaders!

The present day culture, in my not so humble opinion, is just development on the cultural foundations laid back as long as 2300 BC. And now, I will proceed to answer my questions with reference to the aforementioned cultural foundations.

Point 1: Each event in the time period has always aimed for a better standard of living for the people as against the earlier one. Medicine, Mathematics and Technology were developed to solve problems faced by the society and to improve the quality of life. And that is precisely what we’re doing even today!

Point 2: The development of medicine was itself the first step towards eradicating blind faith. Again, even today we’re working on over throwing superstition.

Point 3: Education to the masses opens up newer vistas. This broadens your outlook towards society encompassing basic principles of respect and equality towards all.

Point 4: The topic about the existence of the divine, the all knowing-all powerful god is treading into controversial frontiers. The only point I would like to make here is that with more broad an outlook, we’re just trying to give a more informed answer.

Point Next: A more honest and upfront behaviour and attitude with parents is definitely a positive sign as against negative. For instance, drinking in front of parents was considered disrespectful, and therefore avoided. But today the fact that children are open with their parents symbolises a closer relationship and also helps parents to guide the children.

So, in a culture we devise methods of human interaction and behaviour and pass them on. Some part of it gets lost, some is retained, some is modified, some diffused, which in no circumstance means the dilution of the core values and the fundamentals of behaviour! And if any change in conventional patterns such as working women, equality, overthrowing blind beliefs is destruction of the very culture that the fanatics harp about, then yes, culture is destroyed and this destruction is a welcome one!

To conclude, culture is the value system that makes you successful and a better human being for the collective good of society and barring a few oddities, I’m sure we’re all headed on the right track!

Wait, Wait, Wait - the Kronicles 5

2005-02-06T18:35:00.000+05:30

All everyone wants me to do is wait.
Wait, Please wait, Hang on, Just a sec, In a few minutes, Kindly wait, Wait, Wait Wait....
How much can I Wait?

Lets take it one by one...
1.) I was trying to instal the encarta encyclopedia on my newly formatted computer! And I was told to wait. And I was waitng, and waiting and waiting.

2) And then the main point of this post. I've been asking K to read my debate speech and report of our trip to Mumbai, since afternoon and she's been telling me to wait. She claims she has to finish writing some 20 pages, and then she will read my work. And she just keeps writing pages and pages and keeps asking me to wait and wait. She probably will finish her little work only when my teeth fall off. And I think only my grandchildren will review my work. And frankly speaking, all her work looks the same to me.... I've been reading those pages of written matter and all over are sprawled acronyms and words that keep repeating, and repeating and the same thing over and over again.... and for that I have to wait!!

Poor Me... give me some sympathy people, and pray that K finishes her work before I become an angel!
Why does she keep saying "give me some time" why can't she say "give me a lifetime" ????????

Pearl Returns, with the Kronicles - 4

2005-01-20T14:28:00.000+05:30

Hi there all you lovely people

Pearl is back
Back again
Yes she's back
Back again

With the Kronicles, part 4

Kathak is obsessed. Not with her weight which she should be, but with everyone else growing fat.

There were these people coming over for dinner, and mom's asking K to help her decide the menu. And after sometime, after some deep contemplation K says "Don't make paneer and fried alu sabji, the guy will grow fat"

And then there was the Punjabi Monkey. We were on what K calls the merry go round, and were lazily strolling and chatting when this fellow, the Punjabi Monkey after a jog which according to K (and her *informed sources* ) was for some 30 minutes interlaced with walking, this guy suddenly sits down and starts SMSing someone or playing a game, at I guess 11:30 or so in the night. And K suddenly out of the blue goes like "Hell... he'll put on weight on his butts, tell him to stroll for sometime before sitting" And my sweet little K was so worried, like it was her putting on the fat and not the Punjabi Monkey!

Oh well K, Chillax !! And he's got his girlfriend/mother/wife to worry for him !!

Keeping with the Tradition

2005-01-11T00:24:00.000+05:30

Ladies, gentlemen and the august readership of Pearl's blog. As you would be aware, my name's on the side bar there but haven't seen many posts from me here... not posts that really matter, atleast!

You would also be aware of the tradition that the blog follows to rip apart my personal life piece by piece making it an open blog for all to read. I shall now proceed to retun the favour to Precious little Pearl! Here come, the Pearl Chronicles!

#1
Ever since the "i'll make you warm" conversation Pearl has caught this compulsion to over hear every conversation when she's out on the road. So based on the conversations, we have "the Punjabi monkey" the "XYZ idiot" that could translate into XYZ Ass, Donkey etc.

Today the kid was walking on, and there's this dog running round and round, like he was on a merry-go-round! And then there were our assorted Monkeys, Donkeys and then there was me! Having braved the dogs that pounced on the kid a few days ago, and to bear with a pigeon for a sister who tells her to ignore them and walk, a totally frustrated Pearl comes up with

Where am I?
It doesn't help that the dog is running all around
And there are a mixture of Donkeys and Monkeys
And you, also have to be the pigeon right now, right here

And now for the punch line

Is this an animal farm?????

Merry Christmas

2004-12-25T18:02:00.000+05:30

Ho ho ho,
Merry Christmas people.

You know what K's telling me right now, "some people can't spell". What am I supposed to do if she can't spell??

And K, I want a Christmas present. I've been telling you since the last one month. And yes, now I want a double treat, one for Christmas and the other for the time I will repay your thousands of rupees ;-)

Love ya all,
Sayonara (somehow, right now I'am liking its sound)

Btw, K and Bond have been formatting and re-formatting, installing and uninstalling, and then again, formatting and re-reformatting, then installing and uninstalling, formatting and re-formatting, and doing all sorts of stuff with the comp, so half the stuff is still uninstalled, so I'am unable to scan my trip pictures. As soon as I'am, I will post them with a fresh new post.

Also, K wants to post about some crabs... God save her readers!!!

K's backless friend!

2004-12-22T15:02:00.000+05:30

Lets get serious people. Everyone everywhere talks of copyright infringement. Kathak has also put a copyright notice on Ek Kathak Aur Uski Kathayen as well as on Precious Pearl. And the very same Kathak allowed someone to copy parts of her DSP paper, and also told that girl some formulae.

A one time incident, though it wouldn't be right under any circumstance, it could pass of unnoticed. But the girl who was helped, and her basic attitude of being a total parasite does't aid the cause but makes her crime more henious.

1. She's always been trying to copy K's papers, and K some semesters ago told her that "I don't like or encourage the concept of copying. I'm sorry but whatever else i may do, I will not tell you stuff". And she said she herself doesn't like the concept (In spite of asking K if she could help a little during the paper)
2. She asked K some stuff during the first two papers and K ignored.
3. Third paper was RMT, and K didn't tell her stuff and told her that the examiner was staring at K so its dangerous. The girl retorted back with "You have some weird interest in being the class joker and attracting attention. Its your fault that the examiner looks at you". Also implying that its your fault that I can't copy! Then she also tells her ABC and XYZ copy right under the examiner's nose, and behind K's back MNO and PQR also copy. So what's her problem in life! And K couldn't tell that girl to copy from them if they're so open with the paper.
4. Before the 4th paper, she gave K a big lecture, including "If you don't want to show me anything, don't. If I don't know, I won't write it in the paper, simple". Eeesshh... isn't that what everyone does. If they don't know, they don't write. But the tone she used was telling K that she's doing K a favour by copying K's paper and clearing the year or whatever.
5. I believe in that paper at the end K whispered something, but nothing significant enough for her to copy.
6. The last paper.... the examiner guy wasn't paying much attention, sort of cool with all the whispering going on and stuff. It seems that happens a lot in COEP (Govt. College of Engg. Pune) and one of K's friend commented, "humara college aaj COEP ho gaya!". And the girl made most use of it. She asked something to the college topper who answered "Cascade/Parallel". Enough of a hint if you knew that the question was on digital filters to be implemented in either cascade or parallel form. But no, this girl had to wait for K to give her a step by step solution. (I got the technical from K, though I don't know what it means, but still put it in for those of you who could understand whatever that is). There were some more things that she took step by step from K. Another one thing on somethign called circular convolution (whatever that is) when she had her internal viva the proffie guy had asked something related and then given a 5 minute explaination. Because the stuff wasn't very clear in their local author. But then this girl has such a poor memory that she couldn't solve somethign the profie had given a one on one explaination for!!!!!!!!

Actually k should be writing the technical part.
1. because I don't understand anything of it, so I might smudge the details
2. beause she should be concerned

But irritatingly she is totally blase. Which is wrong.
K... why the hell do you need to associate yourself with that girl?
Why do you need to "maintain cordial relations"?
And WHY... when you yourself think it is wrong.

And people, what takes the icing on the cake is, after all that, rather than being tankful to K, she tells another girl, "Its because I shouted at her the other day, that she let me copy". What the hell was that????????????????????? Had I been there, I would have broken her jaw.

Copying is WRONG.
And K, letting someone copy is also wrong. Even if she turns around and looks at your paper, you can leave the question and write something that can't be copied, and come back to that later. I don't give a damn about how you prevent her, but you should have. PERIOD.

Kronicles-3

2004-12-20T16:29:00.000+05:30

Dear lovely people,

I am honouring your request and continuing with the Kronicles.
Kathak, has now become an ambulance! That's right. Here, she was a motorbike but now is an ambulance. She also believes she's a random sound generator and will keep generating absurd sounds till she suddenly realises that people are listening to her and the stops abruptly and starts laughing like an insane woman.... or realises that she's an ambulance and goes back to making the sound of a siren. Maybe she keeps alternating between that of a police jeep and an ambulance.... split personality disorder!

And, did I ever tell you about the pigeon sounds? No.... well she always keeps making them, when she's not an ambulance, a motorbike, a random sound generator that is!

And tomorrow is our school fete. And I'm going to have a party. Yippppeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Rajasthan Files 1

2004-12-14T19:31:00.000+05:30

So lets start from the very beginning. A very good place to start. When we read we begin with ABC, when we sing we begin with…Hey wait a minute. This is about m trip. So lets start all over again.

Here you read all about preparations and making lots and lots of plans. And all of you know that Mags and me went together for shopping. And Chivda had separated me and Mags during the train journeys.

Now here comes the twist in the story. One girl from our group wanted to go to Mag’s group, and so Ladoo let Mags come to my group. So now everything is fine… we are moving on and on ando n and on and… well, we’re still moving on! The train started at around six forty. Can you imagine my nightmare at bedtime?

I anyways can never sleep in the train.
Our seat nos were 1-6, right near the bathroom and door. And
My seat no. was 4!!

How could I sleep? What if I got pasted? But I did not, infact I myself did the pasting!!!! (btw for the illiterate ones, maybe like all of you, the term ‘pasting’ means putting tooth paste all over someone’s face, or ‘getting pasted’ means someone coming and putting paste over you). And poor Mags, she wanted to sleep, but the girl on seat no. 6 was also awake and we were both talking for quite some time, fell asleep in due course only to find ourselves at Surat! Around five I woke Mags, but she yelled at me like my Mummy and went back to sleep. Again at six thirty I woke her, but she started yelling. So I waited till seven, but again she wanted to sleep. But she had to wake up at the end, and she did! Once Mags was ready she started telling everyone how I kept her awake. Gawwwd. She slept like a log. How much will she sleep??

It was a fun trip, lotsa songs and games and sleeping and talking and photography! But the best part of this trip was that I had stood at the door of the train when everyone was asleep! That takes the cake!! To end this section, enjoy the beautiful mountains which I believe are the Aravalies.

Google Ads

2004-12-05T19:22:00.000+05:30

I have, like other ordinary mortals succumed to the lure of the greenback. Please note the Google Ads in the sidebar, and feel free to click on them, if any catch your fancy! It shall all be in the greater cause of generating money!

RSP is Dangerous

2004-12-03T16:25:00.000+05:30

Ta daa!! I'm into my RSP final platoon. Yeah! Rejoice. I'm so excited. I just came home a few minutes ago, and my heart is till jumping. I couldn't even ride back home properly. First of all, I was unable to even get out of my school gate. Then I was peddling so fast. But my friend managed to keep up with the speed. Then nothing happend, but I managed to land my self into a pile of gravel and almost fell down. But, but, but, the angels were smiling down on me and yet again, I was out of it safely. Then for some time I rode quite normally except for the fact I was a liitle too fast. Thank goodness my dad was not there. He would have prohibited me from riding my bike again. Then yet again, something went wrong. I almost dropped me and my bike on my friend. She was so terrified. Poor baby!

But this was the most...um...I don't know what adjective to use...funny or scary part of it all. Our school bus came along and stopped one lane before my lane. That is a very narrow part, so I had to stop my bike because I was unable to go from the right due to some cars. There were these two thelewalas, I mean the ones with the haath gadis in front of us. My friends from the bus waved out, and I also very happily waved out to them. I did not use my brakes and went and hit one of the thelewala. I hit his leg, but he was able to walk, so I conclude that he musn't have got hurt badly. And then i didn't give him a single chance to speak a word till he went, I just kept saying Sorry. He also gave moi such a dirty and scary look na. And after that I just came home. Alive.

And Kathak laughed, when I narrated this to her!

Btw... I pukka promise will post the Rajasthan Files soon enough!

A useless post

2004-12-01T16:32:00.000+05:30

I've come across bloggers. Most of them (that I've come across) are mail... sorry male.

Then I came across a female blogger. Like a girl and all.

Then I told Kathak, "Didi... here's a female blogger"

Then She, who must not be named said, "Err... and I am..... ?"

"You're a freak... and freaks are neither male's nor females. They can't be classified. Not under any such category. Its a third category all together"

Silence. Dead Silence. She didn't even laugh
Never mind... Like *she who must not be named although I named her once in this post* would say - Tomorrow is another day!

Overheard.... OR.... The Chronicles #2, of She who must not be named

2004-11-24T16:25:00.000+05:30

I know I got to write about the Rajasthan tour, but not now. First read this.

This is what I heard a man yelling into his cell to his wife/girlfriend. Me and she who must not be named, and her friend had gone for a short walk, and then later upto the baniya to buy gud. A man in a yellow t-shirt, which 'she who must not be named' and friend say is red, passed us. And this is what he told the mysterious creature.

"Don't worry if you're feeling cold. I'm there for you. I will make you warm."
But the question is how??

The rest of it, we were unable to hear. But I'm quite sure it would have been quite interesting.

Also I wonder when 'she who must not be named' will stop embarrassing me. As it is, 'she who must not be named', can burst into peels of laughter in no time. And here, as soon as she heard this she burst out laughing in the middle of the road - right there! I just hope Mr. Yellow Shirt (or red as 'she who must not be named' and her friend claim) was busy on the phone and did not notice it. But it doesn't end here. The rest of the walk, 'she who must not be named' and her friend were cracking silly jokes about the man's disappearance.

Joke 1:
SWMNBN: Where's the man? Why did he disappear?
Her Friend: He must have gone to make her warm

And the rest of them i.e joke 2,3,4,5..... are all variants of the same!

But how can it end here????

Joke lost-count: (The next day, i.e. yesterday)
SWMNBN: Yaar, woh red kahin dikhai nahi de raha hai (That guy in the red is no where to be seen)
Friend: Wahin hoga, making her warm

Whats up today.... I'll find out and let you know ;-)

Kronicles - 1

2004-11-19T15:32:00.000+05:30

Hey people,
This is a new section in here, the Kronicles i.e the Kathak Chronicles!

The other day, K was walking to her car in some parking. When she was almost there, she heard a guy talking on his cell. Actually, he had just made the call, or so it seems... And Kathak, she decided to proxy for the person on the other side.

Guy: Hello
Kathak: Hey there honey!
Guy: May I speak to ABCXYZ?
Kathak: Of course you can't honey. She's doing the Adivasi dance!

What followed next was a long pause, the kinds that would put Mr. A B Vajpayee to shame. The guy dropped his cell and started laughing! And K, she quickly got into the car, locked herself in and was laughing like a maniac to infinity!

But that's not the end... Only the beginning! At exactly twelve thirty in the night, K gets up and starts laughing. I get up and ask her, and only after a gruelling interrogation of ten minutes she tells me the reason for bringing the roof down at twelve thirty in the night! And then, every half an hour she's getting up to laugh and do funny things which I still haven't figured the significance of. Adivasi rituals?????

Dhannaram Bheel

2004-11-16T17:18:00.000+05:30

This man, I was told by my guide (the great lier cock) has the longest beard in the world (4.5ft) and his dad's was 9.5 ft. Like I believe him. Nontheless, here's a picture of Dhannaram Bheel holding out his four point five feet long beard. But you can always check out the official guinness record, which I think is currently held by Shamsher Singh of Punjab and is six feet long. But I'll tell you what, this guide man was such a liercock. He claimed to be a multilinguist knowing nine languages (English, Hindi, Spanish, French, German, Gujrati, etc.). But couldn't even speak a complete sentence of English. Nothing wrong with that, but he shouldn't say he knew it when infact he didn't. He started off with a few English words and later switched to Hindi. Such a show off na. Bigger than K also. I'm sure he was just bluffing.

Notice the Katputlis in the background. Almost all of us wanted to buy one. He said that they were the traditional Rajasthani ones, and when we asked him whether we would get them in Jaipur, (that was our next stop, and the last one before Sawai Madhopur) he said we wouldn't get them the way they're supposed to be. But thanks to my sensibility I bought only one pair and the other from Jaipur at a good price, though I could have got them cheaper. But I still am better at bargaining than any of my friends. And I found myself doing what I call baniyagiri. If you don't understand the meaning of that, mail me!!

Kkkkkkkkkkkk?

2004-11-15T17:48:00.000+05:30

I have a question.
Did Frito-Lay India name "Kurkure" after consulting Kekta Kapoor's astrologer?

This is by far, (according to the 21 year old K and her friends who gave it) the best gift she received! And her b'day surprise, because the other gift (Digital Fortress by Dan Brown) she had asked for.

Anyone wanting a higher resolution picture (640*480, 800*600, 1600*1200, your default resolution no higher than 2272*1704) mail me at the address on my profile. That way atleast, I'll get some mails in my mailbox!! And, anyone wondering what this is all about and stuff, you could check out the blogs of Kathak and Dan, and you may be able to figure out their love for kurkure. All I know is that it started off during some RMT (I don't know what that is) lecture where these idiots were eating kurkure. And then Dan interviewed Kathak (using the voice recorder of her 5140)... I even heard the recording!

Dan (D): Hi Kathak, tell me something about your fav food.
Kathak (K): What food do you want to know about?

D: Okay, tell me about kurkure.
K: Kurkure?
D: Ya, kurkure
K: You see, kurkure is the food which we eat during this (RMT) lecture .
D: Okay, and why do you like it so much?
K: Thats because, we get to eat it during the lecture!
D: Okay. And how often do you have this lecture?
K: Every Tuesday, 1:30 to 3:30
D: So, you eat kurkure only once a week?
K: Well, we try to eat kurkure only once a week. (??????????)
D: Okay. And... ummm... whom do you eat it with?
K: I've got this big friends. (Maybe she means big group of friends). Dan, and then then then is.. wait a minute, you're interviewing me, why do you want to know I eat kurkure with you?
D: Okay.... hahahahahahaha.... what else, what else do you eat????
K: What do you want to know about? (Why does she always need specific questions?)
D: OKay. Tell me about chocolates?
K: Chocolates.... okay.... I like Mon Cherry. Mon Cherry is chocolate with a cherry and vine. And the vine and the cherry and the chocolate together taste just awesome.

(Snipped off some part of the interview)

D: And now tell me about the subject you like the most.
K: I like RMT the most.
K: You want to know why I like RMT the most??
K: I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you. (Chillax K, she's interviewing you to hear you out)
D: I know why you like RMT the most.
K: I'll tell you, i'll tell you...........
D: Okay... go ahead.
K: It's because we get to eat kurkure!! (Phew!)
D: And tell me something about your RMT prof.
K: Our RMT prof, can't see anything, and he can't hear anything.... so we get to eat kurkure!!!!

(Never mind the remaining interview, I'm sure you know how it would have progressed, only to end with a "Now its the time to eat Kurkure.... !")

So, people.... what's your verdict???

I think

1. 'Frito-Lay India' should pay these idiots for the free advertising they're getting.
2. K and Dan need to get a life, because somewhere K spoke of Kurkure+Ice-cream+Chocolates together.
3: Dan should never conduct an interview. K should never give interviews.
4. Whats with the invasion of K?

Happy Diwali

2004-11-12T20:47:00.000+05:30

Hello People,

Nice to be back, and back on an auspicious day! Did you guys miss me? Thanks Sweethearts, Muuuuaaaahhhhhhh! Wish you all a great Diwali full of lights and sweets and all the festivity. But but but, but but don't burst fire-crackers, instead, have a Diwali cracking with laughter and fun!

Love,
Pearl

Random Badd Badd....

2004-11-02T01:03:00.000+05:30

During these never ending two weeks so many many things happened... like I got quite a few heart attacks. I'm going on a school tour to Rajasthan. A lot of the heart attacks were concerning this trip.

1. Kathak was surprised/bewildered that I may not have access to the internet for a little over a week. (That's just soooo suprising. Truly, it is!!)

2. During the train journey, we travel in groups. So our dearest teacher Laddoo played the devil, and as she decided the groups, me and my best friend were in separate groups. But we were all travelling in the same boggie so it' okay. But again Chivda (a.k.a Laddoo) found a new way to separate us.... she put us in separate boggies. And Mags and I were supposed to take care of each other. But there were so many others going on the trip, so its okay! But then again, me and Mags have been friends since we were born... so......... ! I'll miss you Mags, take care, its just a question of 24 hours!

3. K didn't study for her pracs and vivas well in advance as always, so she kept up during the nights. And so yesterday night slept for over 14 hours together. And now she just can't get back to sleep so she's making wild plans of going out in the night at 3 for a nice long drive. God help her.

4. The day my exam ended I actually wanted to go home and study. But Mags came to save the day!

But then again, there were nice things happening as well.
1. Me and Mags went together for shopping and had sooooo much fun.

2. I had my maiden chat. I'm not sorry K, I realised chatting can be fun and thanks Bhaiyya.

3. My Mummy is finally knitting me a sweater after so much of flattering+requests.

Then there were funny things happening as well.
1. I saw an episode of Indian Idol. It was so funny... the way it all went.

2. When me and Mags went shopping everything seemed to be funny. The way her bro was behaving, the way our Mother's didn't like anything we bought and the way people were behaving.

And now for some Random Stuff
1. I don't want to really classify it as a good or bad thougt. I got K a birthday present the day I went with Mags and irritating cum irritated Mummies + Mags irritating brother.

2. Me and my friends were making a project on endangered species for EVS. (We must have practical sessions as far as EVS is concerned. It's as boring as it can get. Are you listening Pari? What about your petition plans?) We've finished only half of it. For a part of it, we mounted animal models on a board. So then K is telling me with a very absurd voice about the animals we haven't yet mounted on the board. And about how incomplete the project is. She actually goes all sing song about the animals... Sheesh didi, grow up! ;-)

Special Report 24X7:
The greatest person to ever walk the earth leaves for Rajasthan tomorrow evening. You can catch her at Pune Railway Station, but please do not carry autograph books, she'll be a little too busy, but can reply to your 'hi's' and 'what a pleasure to meet you ma'am'. Again, you can catch on the Rjasthan files after she returns on the eleventh.

Behind the scenes 24X7:
I shall keep all of you well informed about K.
These days, instead of concentrating on her BE project, K is concentrating more on the art of imitating those high power motor bikes, and how it starts, increases its speed rapidly, uses the boosters, and finally comes to a screaching halt.

I conclude with a prayer:
God, God, God...
I searched here, I searched there,
I searched everywhere.
But I never found it.
I want to do something,
So that the world remembers me,
I want to do something for humanity,
So that I can die a peaceful death.
Everyone says you are in people,
So in searched in myself for you.
When I have found you,
I request you to give me some brains,
So that I can give it to Kathak.
Give me the sensibility that can be given to Kathak, which she really needs.
And give me the strenght to endure her craziness.

B-bye all you nice people. (Nice because you read my blog). I'll miss ya a lot,

Love,
Pearl.

Kathak and I

2004-10-24T14:22:00.000+05:30

Isn't she cute, guys?

.

Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me

2004-10-19T18:11:00.000+05:30

From http://www.bussongs.com/songs/nobody_likes_me_worms.php

Nobody likes me,
Everybody hates me
I'm goin' down the garden to eat worms
Long thin slimy ones,
Short fat fuzzy ones
Ooey gooey, ooey gooey worms
Long thin slimy ones slip down easily
Short fat fuzzy ones don't
Short fat fuzzy ones stick to your teeth
And the juice goes slurpin' (slurping noise) down your throat

And I'm so bored of studying already, that I'm really going to the garden to eat some worms. If you want to join me, be my guest.

Recycle job #1, on Pearl's blog

2004-10-17T13:51:00.000+05:30

What would Mary Poppins say

If she came across an old guru who walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

How about ...
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis ??

Muaaaaahhhhhh people on the road!!!

2004-10-12T22:34:00.000+05:30

Did you all know that I have this wonderfully insane sister? For instance, she always likes booing people on the road, or blowing kisses, or waving out to them or even talking to them, by addressing them as "red gadi wale uncle", "blue truck wale uncle", "motorcycle wale uncle", "cycle uncle", and so on and so forth, including any on the spot crappy name she can think of. Fortunately, actually hopefully people do not hear her! Like the other day she calls out, "Arrey yellow zen wale uncle, wait... mein aa rahi hoon!" But that's normal.

Another other day she was going to drop me to class when one of my friend's passed by. I waved out to her and she waved back to me. Now my sister didn't realise she was my friend, and that I had waved out to her. So just as she always does, she waved out to her thinking that girl was insane and according to Kathak, was randomly waving out to people.

I am sure that there cannot be anyone else as affected as Kathak, but I guess she doesn't!

Hello World

2004-10-10T16:18:00.000+05:30

Hello world,

How are you? Whats new in life? Hows life treating you?
As for me,

I'm fine, thanks for asking
I've finally landed here, all inspired and all by my wonderful big sister and a bunch of freaks.
Life's been good to me, wonder what I did in my past life!

See ya guys, soon.

Love you all!
Muuuuaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Pearl

P.S: Kathak even agreed to guest post on my blog, now is she nice or is she nice, or is she nice???????